


Virtue

by parasitic



Category: Mass Effect
Genre: Alternate Universe, Annoying Kaiden, Best Friends, Cerberus - Freeform, Death, F/M, Gen, Heartbreak, Memories, Multi, Other, Shepard Being an Asshole, Spoilers maybe, Tags May Change, homewrecker, staying alive - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-07-22
Updated: 2016-07-25
Packaged: 2018-07-26 00:38:47
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 2,631
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7553467
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/parasitic/pseuds/parasitic
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Commander Shepard tries to help Thane before he goes toward the sea. But the fact that Kaiden is back in the picture, is making it hard to do so. All she wants to do is help the assassin she fell in love with and resist the urge of punching Kaiden in the face.<br/>Also, Garrus is the best friend who has Shepard's back in everything, no matter what, right?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Xenos Shepard sat there in front of Kaiden as he spoke to her. She had come to the Huerta Memorial Hospital to visit Thane since he had sent her a message. It had been a while since she had last seen him or heard of him. She had tried many times to contact him, only to fall short of what to say. It was always annoying when she didn't know what to say to people or how to act around them. Ever since she had been revived by Cerberus, she felt like someone completely different, although Miranda, who had overseen the whole project, had told her that she had not been reprogrammed in any way. She was still the same old Shepard. Of course, she didn't feel that way.  
  
  
Shepard had spoken to Thane first, it was what she had come here for. She disliked hospitals, the personnel mostly. Most of which only cared about who obtained the most glory in regards to healing a person. But, the one person she had hoped to talk to was here, so she had set aside her thoughts about hospitals and had arrived at the Citadel.  
She had found Thane standing in front of the large windows which looked over the Citadel. Looking directly at his backside, she tried to make the least amount of noise as she could, if only to see the way his scales glimmered against the light. Thane had turned around though, as she had expected, she could never sneak up on Thane; he always knew.  
  
  


"...I heard something about you and some assassin." She heard Kaiden say as it snapped her back into reality. She knew what was coming, Thane had mentioned it as well.   
  
  
Her thoughts drifted back to Thane and his large dark eyes... She felt broken, but hopeful. She knew it wasn't over yet. She still had Thane. When she spoke, her voice broke, something she had not expected. "Kaiden." Shepard sighed as she put her face into her hands. Looking up once more, she spoke, this time she tried to steady her tone. "Why are we doing this now?"  
Shepard had expected this much from Kaiden, she had felt his eyes on her throughout the entire mission on Mars.   
  
  
"Now seems a good time as ever, Shepard." Kaiden responded sternly, she could hear the annoyance in his voice. 

 

It was true that she had been devastated after what had occurred between them on Horizon, but she had learned to get over it and move on. It had hurt to know that he had moved on before she had, but she had understood that he couldn't have waited forever, it had been two years before he had seen her again. But, now he was interested in her affairs? It didn't seem right.  
  
  


"Fine. I fell in love with an assassin. Is that what you want me to say Kaiden?" She asked as she stared at him expressionless. 

 

"So you cheated--"

 

"I did not cheat on you! You moved on remember?" Shepard felt her voice beginning to rise as she clutched her hands and sat there trembling. The anger building up inside her. "At Horizon, you didn't trust me. You left me, Kaiden."

 

Kaiden gazed at her as she sat there. She wished she knew what he was thinking at that precise second, his face was unreadable and it bothered her not knowing what he would be saying next. 

 

"I admit, what happened on Horizon was my fault. I should have trusted you, Shepard. I should have never left you." Kaiden moved slightly toward her as he spoke and she noticed his hand making his way towards hers. 

 

Before anything else could happen, she abruptly stood up, "It'd be nice to have you back on the Normandy, if you choose to. Goodbye Kaiden." 

 

Getting out of the room had been her first priority, she was absolutely fuming as she walked out of Kaiden's room. This had not been how she had pictured things would have gone with him, she had meant to apologize for hurting him, but she knew what he would have thought. She had not cheated on him. How could she if they had not been together since Horizon. It didn't make sense as to why Kaiden would think that they had still had a romantic relationship after what had happened at Horizon. It made her mad just thinking about the whole situation. She needed a drink. Or two. 

 

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	2. Chapter 2

It was a struggle for Shepard whenever she had to put aside her thoughts in order to focus on a mission. She had been going over the events on Horizon ever since they had left. Thoughts of Kaiden flooded her as she tried to focus on not getting killed, but the thoughts had become almost unbearable. She had always known how to overcome the thoughts, but lately they had been getting harder to control, it was as if she was losing herself to the thoughts. 

 

"You've changed." Kaiden had told her.

 

She didn't feel any different than when she worked for the Alliance. Hell, she felt so much better since then, at least now Cerberus was taking everything she had discovered seriously. It was unlike working with the Alliance, where everything she did was under scrutiny. But, something about all of this made her feel like she was abandoning everything she had previously stood for. She felt like a traitor, even though she knew it was for humanity's own good.  

 

Now, as Nassana stood in front of her, Shepard felt her thoughts wash away as Nassana droned on and on about the lengths Shepard had gone just to kill her.  
"I'm not an assassin, Nassana. But I am looking for one."  
  
  
Nassana scoffed as it became relevant that I was not looking for her, she had always thought herself as superior, which had bothered Shepard ever since she had double crossed her.   
"You break in here and decimate my security just to find the person who's here to kill me?"

As she finished her sentence, there was a thud coming from the ceiling. It seemed as though one of Nassana did not notice, but one of her guards did. I looked back at Garrus who glanced back at me as he nodded slightly in my direction. Garrus always knew what I was thinking and it seemed that we had found our assassin. 

  
  
"What are you playing at, Shepard?...What?"  
  
  
  
"I heard something," the asari commando stated as she looked around.

"Damn it, check the other entrances." Nassana responded as she grew frantic." _You_... stay put. When I'm finished dealing with this nuisance, you and I are going to... Who...?"

 

Just as quickly as she had responded, something came swooping down from above, in an instant all of Nassana's guards were not laying on the ground as the assassin pinned a gun at Nassana's abdomen. Without a word, the silent sound of the gun pierced through the silence as he laid her body on the counsel. 

 

Shepard watched as the assassin began to pray, an odd sight to see. _Was he praying for the woman he had just killed?_ The sun shone behind his frame as he stood there, head bowed as he prayed in silence. The sight baffled Shepard to say the least, she hadn't expected this kind of thing from an assassin.

 

"You certainly know how to make an entrance." Garrus stated, trying to break the silence that had now settled. She walked forward as he continued to pray, not once looking up.

 

"When you're done praying for her, I would like to speak to you." Shepard announced as she stopped in front of the assassin.  
  
He shook his head slightly as he finally spoke, "Not for her. For me."   
Once he finally looked up, Shepard saw the black eyes staring at her intently. She could not help, but stare back for a moment as she lost her train of thought. It seemed like the assassin became aware of this because he began to speak again after the brief moment. "The measure of a an individual can be difficult to discern by actions alone. Take you, for instance. All this destruction... chaos."

 

Shepard stared at him for a moment longer as he came closer and then darted her eyes towards where Nassana now laid motionless. "I was curious to see how far you'd go to find me." Now he stood in front of her, blocking her view of Nassana. Shepard was forced to stare back at him as he finished speaking, "Well... here I am."

Her squinted at her as she stood there at a loss for words. He sounded so arrogant compared to any of her other companions, something she did not like. How would she be able to work with an assassin that seemed to walk with such a stride of... "How'd you know I was coming at all?"

 

"I didn't." He began walking and walked beside her. She could hear the very faint tapping his footsteps made, but if she was not paying attention to it she would not have noticed otherwise. "Not until you marched in the front door and started shooting." He stopped in front of Garrus who still had his gun drawn and placed his hands back as if daring Garrus to shoot him. The assassin stood rather tall and was not intimidated at looking straight at the barrel of the gun, maybe something he had done before. "Nassana had become paranoid. You saw the strength of her guard force. She believed one of her sisters would kill her. You were a valuable distraction."  
  
  
"So, I was bait? What if my friends had gotten injured?" She could feel Grunt's breath on her, of course she knew that both of her squad mates could handle a few waves of enemies, but this assassin didn't know that. She wanted him to know that their lives were not something she was willing to throw away for some distraction.

 

"I needed a diversion; you needed to speak with me." As much as she wanted Garrus pointing his gun at him, she glanced at Garrus and once their eyes met, she nodded quickly. Once Garrus put his gun back, the assassin spoke again, this time he gave his full attention to Shepard. "You certainly fulfilled your end of the bargain. What would you like to discuss?"

Shepard briefed him on what was going on with the Collectors and how they needed his help in saving humanity from them. He thought for a moment before agreeing to do this _suicide mission_ with her. He mentioned being ill, but didn't fill her in on what which made her curious. Although the first impression she had gotten from the drell was negative in every aspect, she felt pity that he was dying. If it was something that she could help with, she would gladly help him. Maybe she didn't like him, but she needed all of her squad mates at one hundred percent in order to help with their main mission. 

 

 

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	3. Chapter 3

Commander Xenos Shepard had had a rough upbringing. She had been abandoned by her biological parents - leaving her on the streets to fend for herself. She had grown to be fearless mentally, although simple things could still hurt her. Her thoughts always got the better of her even when she tried her hardest to suppress them.   
  
Growing up was one of the most difficult things that Shepard had to overcome, it was one of the many obstacles she learned to overcome with a quick and valiant approach. Although it was a long and tiring process, she never once wavered and instead kept moving forward without looking back. Sure, she made many mistakes but she never once regretted them. She had come to understand that her mistakes helped shape who she now was. 

 

As a child, there were many nights when she wished that the Maker would just show mercy on her and end her life - the many nights that she went to sleep without a bite to eat were the hardest. When the Maker did not answer her cries, she knew she was alone. There was no Maker that would save her. There was truly nothing out there except the vastness of empty space. 

 

With the years, Shepard learned how to survive in the streets. She obtained food and shelter by any means possible. The nights of going to sleep hungry had decreased as the time passed on and as she became less dependable on her pleads for mercy. Shepard had already accepted the fact that there was no Maker, there never had been. 

 

After a childhood of theft and getting in a lot of trouble, Shepard began to look for better ways to waste her time until death finally came for her. 

Becoming almost too familiar with pain, Shepard joined a group of local mercenaries. The group was nothing major and only dealt with local areas, receiving shipments from across the galaxies. All Shepard had to do was protect the shipments until they were picked up. She had never bothered to think too much into it until it became apparent that she would be needing to kill people in order to do the job. 

Shepard admits that the first time she killed someone at the age of fourteen was not easy. She still sometimes has nightmares of the man's last gurgling breaths, the sound of the blood in the man's throat as he tried to breathe. It was not an easy kill, but it was not her last. Soon, killing had become all too familiar to her. She began to become proficient with a shotgun. Her ears had now began to guide her to her victims. Sight was always deceiving so she had preferred to just follow the sounds to find whoever she had to kill. 

 

After two and a half years of the same routine, Shepard began to climb the ranks and was soon involved with more and more gangs. As Shepard turned seventeen, she began to sense that maybe this was not the life for her as she saw how many of her _friends_ wasted their life away on drink and drugs. She saw the extent damage that this life had done to those around her. She noticed how many turned to drinking to ease their pain or their consciousness - whichever it was, but Shepard knew it was probably neither seeing as how they turned up the next day eager for bloodshed. 

Shepard would be a liar if she didn't admit that the bloodlust had gotten to her too, at times - but she had learned to control it. It was not something she wanted to get lost in. She would much rather lose herself to other thoughts than those. 

Before becoming much more involved in the world of gangs, Shepard chose to enlist in the Alliance military once she turned eighteen. She was not sure if that was the right choice for her- but she soon enough learned otherwise. Although she had a very hard time following the rules and obeying her superiors, she overcame everything and anything that was put in front of her. 

The life she had lived when she was younger made other soldiers mock her, but she always had a way of resolving that one way or the other - most of the time she would get in trouble for her methods of resolution. The bloodlust would often return when she was on missions, but there was never short supply of it when enemies were swarming left and right. Shepard would soon realize that she had made the correct choice in joining the Alliance military. For the right reasons? Maybe not. But who kept records of that anyway?


End file.
